Redeem your 
Hi Ms. Nettie,
Let me ask you this… if a handful of people are harassing you and causing you mental breakdowns and “such” wouldn’t it be wise NOT to post that info in your guestbook and NOT to send that info and your medical info out to your “friends” guestbooks?
Wouldn’t that just give the so called harassers satisfaction? Ahhh..or perhaps the person who is accusing others of harassing just wants/needs some sort of attention. I think I just answered my question. And I think I’ll be using the guestbook delete button quite often.
Thanks Nettie!
Signed,
Are People Nuts?
| Dear Are People Nuts?,
Hopefully your letter will convince those few players who are convinced that the letters that appear in this column are fake that they are, indeed, real. I chose to feature this letter for two reasons – it’s kind of funny for a Holiday weekend, and it does bring up something that we all occasionally encounter – the self-centered person who creates a circle of drama. Yes, there are folks who do enjoy, for whatever reason, engaging abusers. They’ll allow these folks to upset them, complain about being upset which feeds the abusers even more, and escalates the situation. At first blush, you’d think the “victim” is after sympathy, which may be the case. But mostly it’s attention these folks seek. I’m no psychologist, but it doesn’t take a doctorate to understand that for the most part Drama Queens and Drama Kings could easily solve most of their issues by simply making better decisions, but they enjoy the attention, and they enjoy the distraction the drama provides them. If you’re being attacked all the time, you must spend the time you might otherwise use productively to defend yourself. It’s a great way to get out of work! So, yes, people are nuts, and we have to choose them carefully. Some nuts are wonderful. Some not so much. Deleting posts and messages from your guestbook that only serve to feed attention to the wrong kind of nut is a wise move. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
I was reading the letter from Quiet, Not Unfriendly last week (Ms. Netiquette, June 24) who complained that they do not wish to chat in rooms.
I will admit right off no one is required to respond to a “congrats”, but I think this person is wrong and to be blunt her letter seemed a bit snobby/snotty to me. Usually you get complaints about people being impolite. I could not believe I was reading someone complain about others being polite and nice! It takes two seconds to type “ty”. And she could simply acknowledge it one time only.
I sometimes like it when they say good job… I may have a bad day dealing with selfish or nasty people and a simple good job or something like that reminds me there are nice people and good sports in the world.
I have a question… Why didn’t they just turn chat off? If you don’t want to chat and you don’t want to mute then why don’t you turn chat off completely? Then you won’t have to hear “room cheerleaders” or those who respond because you can’t be bothered to say thanks… That would solve the problem. You would not be inconvenienced by those being nice and you would not read the “rude” comments they leave because you choose not to answer .But that’s just me.
Flip side of that coin I guess…
Flipped Coin
| Dear Flipped Coin,
Thanks for writing. Let me be clear: I do encourage players to say “ty”, “gg”, “nh” and all the other niceties that go with good sportsmanship. As you pointed out, it can actually make someone’s day and open conversation which can lead to new friendships. And I encourage players to respond in kind, if they are sincere in their response. In last week’s letter, the letter writer wanted to play games without being social, so she did not want to engage in conversation. And guess what? That’s fine. There are no rules that say you must chat. She chose not to respond to the niceties, and that’s okay. She didn’t feel like it and had she done it, it would have been insincere. While getting a “ty” or “thx” or “10q” back is nice, we shouldn’t expect it. It is far more impolite to make an issue out of a perceived slight than it is to not provide the expected reaction. If I say “gg” I have offered a politeness and if I’m sincere I should not expect one back. If I receive one, great. If not, there may be a myriad of reasons why I didn’t and rather than get upset about it, I should understand that it’s not personal and carry on. Read the next letter for more information on why someone might not be responsive… |
Dear Ms Netiquette,
I am a partially sighted person, I have vision in one eye only and no peripheral vision.
I am writing to you because I feel that some people get offended that I don’t respond to their “wtg” or “nt” etc.
Sometimes I don’t “see” the chat while I’m trying to concentrate on what I am doing until they have left the room… in a huff? I do feel that I have offended them in some way at times, but I do not chat with a lot of people in Pogo.
The other reason I sometimes don’t respond is because my vision is poor, my screen resolution is large and I don’t get the chat box up, only just enough space to actually play the game and see it.
I would just like to let people know that some of us are not rude and ignorant or unfriendly, there are sometimes very good reasons why we don’t “chat”.
Yours truly,
Just Trying to Play
| Dear Just Trying to Play,
Thank you so much for taking the time to write, as you have provided a real-world example why it’s best not to assume that someone is being purposefully rude by not responding. Many people have legitimate reasons for not doing so. And since we’re talking about acronyms – guess what time of year it is again? It’s time to update the Pogo Player’s Guide to Netspeak! Every year we update an ever-growing list of acronyms commonly used on Pogo (and elsewhere). And who provides these? You do! By this time, we’ve got a pretty huge list, but times change, so please take a quick perusal of last year’s 2010 Player’s Guide to Netspeak column and send in any you don’t see. Or, if you’ve noticed some brand new ones being used in the past years, just send ’em on over to Ms. Netiquette and we’ll update it for the July 15th column! |
