Hey Nettie, In Case You’ve Forgotten– Politeness is the Norm on Pogo!

Indeed, you are right! It is easy to forget that the vast majority of Pogo players are polite, friendly and sincerely nice people. We sometimes let one obnoxious person ruin our gameplay experience, and forget the many, many times when people have helped to make our time on Pogo more fun.

As for the chat filter– if you ever come across a word that’s in there that simply should not be, you may let us know through our Help site.

Thank you for reminding us that etiquette reigns supreme on Pogo! And thanks to every player who makes it a point to be be polite!

This is not a simple question, thus the long answer. Is there a polite way to tell someone that while you are sympathetic to their situation, you would like to move on to more pleasant conversation? Indeed, there are many polite ways to move the conversation to more pleasant topics. How that person may react is another matter.

There are some people who appear to talk about nothing but personal issues, problems they are having, or other depressing matters. Some people do tend to surround themselves in some form of daily drama, and don’t seem to recognize that there are other topics for discussion. You will be hard pressed to politely, or even impolitely, move these folks into different subjects. In fact, you may just give them another subject about which they can complain.

Once you’ve recognized a conversationalist of this type, you may find that the only way to sway the conversation is to be blunt. A simple “Well, it sounds like you need some cheering up. Let’s talk about something that will take your mind off of these problems!” may change the course of the conversation. If you then take the lead in the conversation you will quickly find out whether or not others appreciate the shift, or if they would prefer to commiserate with the person who previously lead the conversation. If everyone is happy to shift to more pleasant conversation, then problem solved. If however, they choose to continue to dwell on the unpleasantness, then your best bet is to simply find another room in which to chat.

But also understand there are a lot of people on Pogo, and on occasion you will run into someone who is seriously having a hard time about something. Perhaps a loved one is ill, or tragedy has struck. These people may simply need to talk to someone. If the conversation is in progress and others appear to be engaged in the conversation, then it’s up to you whether or not you join in. If the player comes to you, personally, then you have a decision to make.

If you’ve known this person from before and you have seen him or her carry on pleasant conversations, then you may want to listen. If not, then nobody is telling you that you must. You have every right to tell player the player that you are here to unwind and play some games, and while you are sympathetic to their suffering, you are not in a position to help.

Now, I know that some readers have just opened up e-mails to write to me and politely tell me how insensitive I am. But before you hit that send button, please hear me out. Most of us come to Pogo to play games and have a good time. When tragedy strikes close to home, or if a problem comes along, most of us find a trusted friend or a professional with whom we can discuss the situation. If someone comes to you, and you are not able to truly be there for him or her for whatever reason, you are doing a greater service by directing this person to another resource.