Redeem your 
Ms. Netiquette,
Being a member for FOUR years I constantly read bickering about rude, nasty players and drama. But today I had a Pogo First! During my lunch break I stopped in for some fast, fun and friendly poker. After winning the hand another player at the table ATTACKED the man sitting across from me for saying “nice hand”. Have you ever heard such a thing? The complainer went on to say that it’s horrible to state the obvious and that saying things like “good game” and “way to go” only makes the loser feel like MORE of a loser. He went on to threaten to mute our chat and then eventually left the room. Pogo players are TOO nice for some to stomach?? Well that’s a FIRST…and ONE complaint I DON’T mind hearing!
One of the nice guys–er GIRLS.
| Dear Nice Girl,
A few hours after you wrote me, I received the letter below. I’ll address both letters in my second response. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
On occasion I read your letter’s and am often quite amused. It would seem the continuing theme regards a player complaining about another player’s etiquette in gaming rooms. Sometimes I get annoyed that a person took the time to write an entire letter to you because someone else didn’t say things to him/her such as: “Hello” and “gl,” “wtg,” “gg,” et cetera.
I like to play poker themed games often and don’t always care to have to interrupt my gaming strategy to engage in nonsense chat. I’m happy when a person wins a good hand and will congratulate that person when necessary, however not every single hand. By default a person could win at poker with a pair of twos. Am I meant to call that a “nice hand?” I always feel that no news is good news.
Sincerely,
Chat Less
| Dear Nice Girl and Chat Less,
I have no way of knowing if you two played against each other, but what a coincidence! Etiquette is a strange bird, indeed. It’s even stranger when it’s done behind the screen of a monitor. It’s easy to forget that you are actually interacting with a living, breathing human being. When you play a game with someone in the same room, where you can see that they are in fact a real person, you might be considered a poor sport if you didn’t exchange pleasantries upon completion of a hand. To Nice Girl, I don’t think a sincere player can be too nice. As for your opponent’s claim that it makes people feel worse to state the obvious, I don’t believe most people feel that way. The “wtg’s” and “nice hand’s” are not always acknowledgments of good hands or superior skill, but often those of polite defeat. In other words, a simple “wtg” doesn’t simply say “way to go.” It might translate into something like: “Well, I guess I lost that hand, but you are a worthy opponent and I appreciate our experience” or “Boy, that was a close game, but you won it fair and square.” It can mean a host of other things as well, but the general feeling it promotes is good will. To Chat Less, I would recommend that you acknowledge the other person in some way. If you’re not comfortable saying “nice hand” when the hand isn’t all that nice, you might simply say “sometimes it’s not in the cards!” or “nice try!” and follow it with a smiley. If that’s too much, you might give your playing partner a simple “smiley” to acknowledge the time spent with your opponent and to let him or her know you are enjoying the game. If that still doesn’t feel right, you might wish to play against computers only, so you do not have to interact with others. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
I was in a game and out of the blue someone that I had never met before invited me to “private chat.” I simply declined and the person started to flip out and asked me “why did you do that?” In fear of being harassed, I left the room before he/she could say any more. Did I do the right thing? And is it rude to randomly pick someone you don’t know for private chat?
Confused
| Dear Confused,
Yes you did do the right thing! You may have saved yourself hours upon hours of grief by simply getting out of that room and away from the player. You are under no obligation to accept an invitation to Private Chat from someone you do not know. If this person wishes to talk to you, he or she may speak to you in the open lobby, or in a whisper, to give you an idea about the subject of the potential conversation. Is it rude to randomly pick someone you don’t know for private chat? That depends on why the request was made. If someone looks at your profile and your profile says something like “I raise rat terriers for a living” and this player also raises rat terriers, then no, not really. He or she may just be so overcome with excitement about finding another person with the same obscure passion he or she can’t wait to speak to you. However, it’s better to make someone’s acquaintance in the open chat room and then move it into a private chat. |
