Redeem your 
Dear Ms. Netiquette:
I wish to talk about “rudeness” which is a subject you have talked about hundreds of times in your column but maybe it needs to be addressed again for people in the Everyone Wins Bingo (Passing) rooms.
The first time I played in one of these rooms, I admit to going for blackouts but was soon informed by a couple of the players it was a “passing the acorns” room. They were, shall we say, “not too subtle” about it but nothing that offended or called a person to task by their name.
Last night I played in a room using my notebook computer which, because of it’s size, you are unable to “chat”. I was the first player to win so I got the two acorns and several people said “gg” or “gj”, for which I could not thank them. At the end of the game, two people in particular called me out by name and said I was being rude for not thanking them. I ended up leaving the room because I couldn’t stand up for myself and if I were on my normal computer, I would have acknowledged their “gg” or “gj” right away so this would not have happened. I was embarrassed for being singled out but also for these women who thought it was their job to teach me netiquette.
While they probably thought it was rude of me not acknowledging their comments, I felt their comments to be more rude by the way the called me out. Could you please let people know that while most people will say thank you, it isn’t nice to call them out by name without knowing the whole picture. It’s a game of fun, it’s your place to let us know of “netiquette” and not theirs, or to go about it in a nicer manner.
Thank you for your advice and suggestions.
Sincerely,
Not a Rude Person by Nature – Just by Circumstance
| Dear NARPBN-JBC,
Etiquette is a funny, funny thing. The rules have been set over the course of history, and ultimately – aside from the cultural customs passed down from one generation to the next – they all boil down to one thing: common sense. Not so common is it? Accusing someone of being rude is, as you suggested, more rude than the original offense (in most cases). If you forget to thank me for the cup of tea I just filled for you, and I say “Well, that’s rude!”, what have I accomplished? I’ve made us both uncomfortable and our time together much less enjoyable. Who is really the rude one? You, for being grateful but forgetting to verbalize it, or me for accusing you of ingratitude? It’s one thing if you’re dealing with a child, or an adult who is unfamiliar with his or her surroundings. If Aunt Louise visits me in the Land of Tukka-Tukka-Tu-Moo, and wipes her feet on what she believes to be a door mat, I might politely take her aside and say “Oh Auntie, in Tukka-Tukka-Tu-Moo, everyone places a mat in front of their door to welcome good tidings, and we aren’t supposed to ever put our feet upon it.” She learns something new about the culture and she won’t repeat the mistake. It’s quite another in an online game. For starters, nobody knows why you might not acknowledge the “gifts”. As we’ve pointed out numerous times there are a multitude of reasons why someone might not respond. Furthermore, all that you accomplish by singling someone out, or calling someone rude, is discomfort for others. It’s far more polite to simply accept the fact that not everyone is going to act like you’d want them to, and it bears no reflection on you. These ladies do themselves a disservice by pointing it out, as it only makes them appear small-minded and petty. You did the right thing by saying nothing and moving to another room. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
Once in a while I have a good day in Canasta. Recently, after winning, I get told “nice program” and then I was called a cheat and many other nasty things.
I am 80 years old and don’t need this. If there are such programs that let you win more, get red 3s and wild cards, why does Pogo let this happen? I have reported to players for verbal abuse and would like you to put this to rest.
Sincerely,
Canasta Lucky
| Dear Canasta Lucky,
Congratulations on your lucky game. While there may be a program out there that does tell you what moves to make in order to play the best hand you possibly can, there is no way that these programs would be able to give you more red 3s or wild cards. Unfortunately, from time to time, you’re going to run across people who behave poorly. The best thing to do when someone accuses you of cheating is to deny it once, and then move on. You know you weren’t cheating, and if this person wants to make up an alternate reality where you were cheating, there’s little you can say or do to stop them. Your best bet is to roll your eyes and find another partner. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
I have been a member of Pogo for many years. I feel as though it is the best game site on the Internet and the people who work for Pogo are the greatest.
I would like to take the time to say “thank you” for keeping all the Pogo players informed about the things that are happening around Pogo. It is so greatly appreciated. Your column is very informative to me, and I am hoping I am speaking for other Pogo players, as well. I am glad you are on Pogo. I don’t know what Pogo would be like without you. Thank you so much for being here.
Sign me,
One Who Appreciates Your Column
| Dear OWAYC,
You’ve just made my day! Thank you so much for your kind letter. While I do my best to answer the questions of etiquette, I must say that for the most part, Pogo has incredibly kind-hearted, friendly, and fun players. I feel very lucky to be able to work with this amazing community and I thank everyone who treats your fellow Pogo player with respect and politeness. This is also the perfect way to end this week’s column, as I will be on vacation next week and there will not be a Ms. Netiquette column. I’ll be back on June 3rd! Have a wonderful weekend! |
